kittensinboxes | I Ended Up Losing And It's All His Fault

I Ended Up Losing And It's All His Fault

Kaiba had gone to the afterlife. He'd finally achieved his dream, and in doing so, faced his eternal rival in combat.

It was never meant to be permanent, of course, but he hadn't neglected to consider the possibility that he might struggle to come back intact. Before launching across dimensions, Kaiba had set his affairs in order, although only Isono was privy to what that meant.

If he was gone for more than a month, his shares would be converted into Mokuba's name, thereby protecting the interests of Kaiba Corporation. At this point, Mokuba would be appointed interim Chief Executive Officer of KaibaCorp.

If he was gone for two, then Mokuba would formally inherit the business in its entirety, with Isono overseeing most functions from day to day with stricter clauses added to his work contract that would disallow him the chance or ability to destabilize Mokuba from his position, which would still be interim CEO for all public records.

From that point on, the changes were only reversible on paper if Seto returned within a year from the launch date. If not, Mokuba really would inherit the business as the true CEO. He'd meant it when he said he was leaving it all in his brother's hands. What else could you say when you intended to launch yourself at speed from your own space station, with no full guarantee that you wouldn't impact, rather than travel across dimensions?

It wasn't a smart idea from the start to do that, and although Kaiba had achieved his goal metaphysically, the reality was that he had, in fact, launched himself from a space station down to earth. The impact was real, and while the safety features of the pod offset a great deal of the damage, he didn't escape unscathed.

The wreckage was found half a day later, bored sixty feet into the ground. Kaiba had been pulled from it and immediately hospitalized for his injuries which ranged from mild bruising to broken bones, specifically his legs and one arm. His resting heart rate had settled at 130, which was...less than ideal, and needed to be treated.

For the next 3 months, he remained in the hospital in a private room paid for by Mokuba, away from prying eyes and off the general record so that he could heal from his injuries and reawaken healthy but still remain incognito. The former worked out, but waking up...well, Kaiba simply wouldn't. His brain activity was elevated, and his heart rate often spiked, but Mokuba, at least, knew what that meant. He'd pulled his brother from their Neural Network inches before a severe cardiac episode before.

If his vitals were behaving that way, then he got what he wanted--he got that final contact with Atem that he'd been denied due to fulfilling his own dream of spreading Kaiba Land all across the world.

What happened was anyone's guess.

But after three and a half months, Seto Kaiba finally opened his eyes, and the light made his head ache. His heart rate was finally at a level that didn't indicate atrial fibrillation, and although he was pale, thin, and exhausted, he'd finally made it back where he belonged.

He was back home--no. He was...back in a hospital. Why a hospital? Why wasn't he home? Surely, he couldn't have been gone for more than a week or so, right? The dimensional connection had been flimsy at best, and he'd had to spend his time with Atem as quickly as possible.

So why were his limbs heavy? They felt wrong. So much felt wrong, and his eyes wouldn't open all the way, but he can make out a blurry image if he just...forces them to move. Someone...?

"Mo...ku...ba?"

Ugh. No, even his voice sounds awful. The muscles of his throat feel stiff, his voice is hoarse from disuse, and he'd barely managed to say his brother's name, to see if it really was him, or...maybe someone else.

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The pressure feels...strange. Warm. A little moist, he thinks? But he doesn't move away from it. Seto's not sure if he has it in him to move anymore. The more he loosens up, the greater the pain in his legs became. And he was vaguely aware of the ache in his hand, where Mokuba was applying pressure. Something...had happened.

"I know you won't," he muttered softly, his other hand reaching up to awkwardly curl around Yuugi's shoulder. Worst hug ever, if it could even be considered one. "You told me already...you're glad I'm here."

He still sounds distant, not-quite-back from whatever he'd gone through.

"You're warm."

They both are.

"I'm glad." Yuugi murmured. "You...you are, too."

He was...soft, in a way.

Not traditionally, but there was something warm that sat in the center of his chest when he held him like this. Even as Seto was bony and all edges, there was something that made Yuugi feel...

...

Something.

"Hey, bro...?" Mokuba's voice quivered only slightly. "We're going to let go of you now, okay...?"

Neither of them wanted to, but they needed to let the doctors and nurses do their jobs. Kaiba's IV had to be put back in, and the doctors needed to be notified about the elder Kaiba's...

...

Delicate mental state.

"Fine," Kaiba says, and it doesn't really sound...right, the way he says it. Fine, but not in his usual curt manner. It's still faraway, and sounds like a platitude, if ever he could speak one.

When they do pull away to summon a nurse, he still has the presence of mind to put pressure on his injured hand, to keep blood from getting all over the sheets.

It'll be hard to change them when he's like this. Hard to move him. Right?

Despite his harsh words when he was keyed up, Kaiba stays quiet when nurse patches up his hand and seeks a new place to reinsert the IV. This time, it's further up on his arm. Given the nature of the situation, he's asked questions that he doesn't really like, but is too raw not to give answers to. Even if they're avoidant, it's easy to tell that he's not feeling much himself.

("how are you feeling?"

"how would you feel if you were like this?"

"what is your pain level on a scale of 1 to 10?"

"seven."

"have you experienced feelings of anxiety before?"

"no", and it's so blatant a lie that everyone in the room knows

"do you avoid situations that make you anxious?"

"no")

Whatever the case, he's encouraged to settle down for a while, and given a dose of morphine, which has the dual purpose of helping relieve his pain, and also calm him down. Hard to be anxious at all when your mind goes slippery like that.

"Now," he murmurs slowly, looking disappointed, "we can't...play a game."

It tugged at Yuugi's heart to watch him.

His hands ached to move, his legs...his legs moved for him, and he took his usual seat at his side, near his head. It was his usual space, Mokuba usually sitting closer to his hand while he was still...asleep.

"It's okay. Once you get some sleep..."

Did Yuugi know how gentle his voice sounded? How doting?

"We can. I promise."

Kaiba blinked sluggishly as Yuugi spoke, and his eyes didn't quite make it all the way open. He's so tired...but...

"Haven't you...been watching me sleep all this time?" he asks hazily. "You found me...you stayed here. Didn't you?"

Under the influence of the medication, Kaiba can't resist closing his eyes any longer. His breathing hasn't yet evened out in the full surrender though. He still wants to talk.

"Good. Stay here...please."

His fingers twitch in the memory of something warm, something soft he'd glided his fingertip into. It's a nice thing to remember, how Yuugi's hair had felt. How he felt against Kaiba's fingers in general.

"I'm not...going to sleep," he adds, as if that'll make it true. "I've slept enough..."

Stay here...please.

Those words were a fishing line tugging at his heart. It wanted to come out, his ribcage wanted to open, split, with his feelings pouring out with words he didn't understand or even know.

All he knew was...

"I'll stay...for as long as you'll have me."

Mokuba wondered if he should just leave the room and leave these two alone.

"Even if you do sleep...I'll be right here when you wake up."

...Yeeeaaaaaaaah...

"Nooo."

The syllable stretches slightly more than Kaiba intends it to.

"Sleeping is...not..."

He trails off and lets out a sigh, his head tipping to the side.

"I want to leave. I want to go home...I want to go home..."

Fighting the urge isn't doing him any favors. The more he fights it, the more honest his words become.

"Hospital's terrible."

His fingers twitch again, for the want of something. He wants to know someone's there. His brother, mostly, but...Yuugi would be an appropriate surrogate in this situation. Right? Any port in a storm, and Yuugi's voice is like a soothing balm across raw nerves.

Those finger twitches attract a hand, gentle and small, to hold his.

It was on reflex; he'd held Kaiba's hand so much during his coma that he didn't think twice about it. Featherlight fingertips traced circles on Kaiba's skin, soothing and soft.

"I know it is," Yuugi murmured. "As soon as you can get discharged...I'll get you home. I promise."

Mokuba kept an eye out near the door, shooing away any nurses that could come by with a whispered "Big brother and Mr. Mutou want some privacy."

"You're...a good friend."

Kaiba's fingers squeeze Yuugi's for the briefest moment.

"I'll keep you."

...And then his grip goes slack.

Yuugi's fingers, for a moment, squeeze back...

"...I'll keep you, too."

He paused.

"Sweet dreams, Seto."

---

Time passed, but still Yuugi's thoughts lingered on those words. Was this what it was like to find buried treasure after years of trying to find it? Years of reaching his hand out, getting it slapped back, only to hear what he'd always wanted to hear in a burst of opioid-induced honesty?

His stomach wouldn't stop fluttering.

His cheeks couldn't stop glowing.

Mokuba had to step out to get something to eat; it was late, and Burger World was only going to be open a few more hours before it switched to its breakfast menu.

Ugh, Burger World Breakfast: the bane of Yuugi's existence because it didn't serve real burgers.

He sat at Kaiba's side, handheld game in his hands as he played...something that looked like a strategy game. There were units on a battlefield, all named after people Yuugi knew. There was Mokuba the Ninja, Ryou the White Mage, Jonouchi the Samurai, Anzu the dancer, Yuugi the Summoner...

And Seto, the Dragoon, spear in hand as he did the majority of the party's raw physical damage.

He hummed to himself as he played; it was lilting and quiet, almost like a calming waltz that fluttered through the air.

As far as Kaiba was concerned, he hadn't fallen asleep at all. He was still awake, talking with Yuugi and his brother. They were playing Spherium again...and this time, Seto was calmer, more into the match. He was doing better, enough to match Yuugi's moves one to one.

His lips curved into a smirk as he slapped down a card, advancing a unit against Yuugi that he wouldn't be able to block. He laughs raucously, and leans up against the table. He's on his feet, and it feels so good to be, to support his own weight and lean in to taunt his rival.

Yuugi just smiles, plays in response, and their units are pitted against one another.

This time, this time for sure, he'll--

--what is that sound? That's...not quite his idea of a victory fanfare, it's bouncy, but not something he'd expect when...when...

...Kaiba eyes slowly open, just the barest bit. He doesn't move yet, because he's still caught at the precipice of sleep and being awake. His head aches, and his throat feels too dry.

As his gaze focuses up, he catches sight of...of Yuugi? Yes, he's playing a game, and humming a jaunty little tune, something that almost sounded like an overworld theme to a JRPG.

Maybe not though, he's still too out of it to tell, but at least the morphine's worn off enough to let him slowly clear his mind.

"...How's...anyone supposed to sleep like this?" he grumbles, and for the first time since he'd woken up, his voice is back to it's full strength, albeit tired and scratchy.

Yuugi moved Seto into position, letting him take down the enemy archer before turning his head, smiling at his...

Friend?

Friend.

Definitely friend.

Gods, they were really friends! Kaiba really saw him as a friend, he couldn't believe it!

"Good morning to you, too," He chuckled. "It's around 3 in the morning. You slept for a good 12 hours."

Well. That certainly gets his eyes widening. 12 hours?

"That long?" he says, pushing himself up onto his elbows and turning to face Yuugi. "Ridiculous, did they re-medicate me?"

He doesn't remember much about being medicated, but in fact, Yuugi would know that they had indeed medicated him once more, about 3 hours in, when his heartrate had spiked, not simply from anxiety, but from pain. Then, he'd slept through the rest of the day in relative peace.

The moral of the story was not to force yourself into an anxiety attack that makes you move your legs before they're ready to be moved.

Yuugi nodded.

"Your pain was pretty bad, so...they gave you something to help you rest..."

He leaned over the bed slightly to point at a button that sat near Seto's right hand.

"Press that if your pain gets bad. They installed it once they realized it was going to be an issue; it'll give you a little morphine to take the edge off."

He smiled, but there was a conspiratorial little lilt to it; when had Seto Kaiba ever been able to see Yuugi Mutou openly mischievous?

"It'll make you feel pretty awful though if you do it too often. Last time I had one of these, my finger kept jabbing it in my sleep and I ended up super sick."

Kaiba frowns at the button like it's personally attacked him. They were giving him access to opioid medication on demand?

"What kind of place are they running here? They trust the patients to self-administer?" he says, looking dubious about the whole affair. More to the point though...why was Yuugi talking that way to him? There was something to his tone that doesn't quite sit right with Kaiba.

"And why do you sound like that? What're you hiding?"

Ugh. Kaiba's still tired, he didn't even enunciate the two words "what" and "are". Gross.

"I mean...that's pretty normal when you're in the kind of pain you're in." Yuugi said with a little chuckle. "Most of the time they won't, but extenuating circumstances, you know."

Oh, that suspiciousness made him just break into giggles. Sorry, Kaiba, but your rather cagey nature is rather cute sometimes.

"I'm not hiding anything! I'm just remembering, that's all. I was pretty loose-lipped on the morphine when I was on it. Clingy, too, but that was probably because I couldn't get out of bed for a while."

Ah, Senior year.

When he ended up falling off a small cliffside during the school trip to stop a little girl from falling herself. He lived, but he had several broken bones and needed to have surgery on one of his legs (with metal put in) for the trouble.

Worth it, though. He also did all of his work in the hospital and took his tests in the hospital room, so he became right as rain by the time...that happened. Honestly, it was kind of weird how quickly he recovered, too.

Like someone was watching over him...

"I'm not like you. I'm not going to say something foolish while I'm on pain medication."

Said like someone who doesn't remember that he already said some very foolish things while on pain medication.

"...Why were you in the hospital?"

He'd prefer the answer than to feel as if Yuugi's laughing at his expense somehow, which shows in the vague displeasure on his face.

Sure, ~~Jan~~ Kaiba. Sure.

Still, it was hard not to have his expression sober up a bit at that particular question. That's right: Kaiba hadn't...he hadn't known about this, did he?

"Ah...yeah, you were mostly out of school by this point. I, uh. Had a bit of an accident on our school trip to Mt. Tateyama."

That was putting it mildly. Falling down a cliff and breaking several bones and being lucky to be alive wasn't just 'an accident', Yuugi.

"A little girl got a little too close to the edge because she wanted to take a better picture. She started to stumble, and, well..."

Yuugi scratched his cheek, averting his eyes.

"I pushed her out of the way, but I ended up falling instead. It wasn't too far, but it was enough to partially crush my leg and break several other bones. Jonouchi, Honda, and Anzu ended up getting me out while Bakura called the paramedics. We were yelled at for being reckless, but...the little girl was okay, so that was worth it to me.

I had to have surgery on one of my legs, and I ended up doing most of my schoolwork and taking tests from my hospital room until I was well enough to start going back to school. I'd pretty much entirely recovered by the time...well. All that happened. It isn't perfect, and the pain can get pretty bad on some days, but I power through it."

Pretty bad was an understatement; walking could be straight-up agony on rainy or cold days, but that didn't stop him. Really, if his friends knew how bad the pain actually was, they'd probably end up fussing over him, and that was the last thing he wanted...

Kaiba, though.

He knew Kaiba wouldn't do that. So it was...safe, in a way, to tell him the truth.

Kaiba frowns.

It was true that he'd mostly shifted away from school by their senior year in order to focus his efforts on work-related matters...that also dovetailed into his other obsession. It's not unexpected that he wouldn't have made it to a school trip.

But it still feels wrong, knowing that he'd missed out on Yuugi's health being so grievously affected. He's still waking up, and his mind is too weary to formulate a proper emotion about it which...is probably fine.

He doesn't want to decide on an emotion.

"Have you ever told your friends about the pain? Or just me?" he inquires with very little inflection, other than curiosity.

Kaiba wouldn't make a massive deal about it, because the only person he truly fusses over is his little brother. But all the same--Yuugi hiding his pain was irritating.

He did it all the time. He hid the pain in his soul, sacrificed himself for others, and now here he was internalizing the pain in his body.

Just because Kaiba was good at compartmentalizing didn't mean he found it normal to see others doing the same so effectively.

"Just you." Yuugi admitted. "Everyone else would just fuss and fret over me. I don't need them worrying, you know?"

He ran fingers through his hair with a chuckle.

"I think Mokuba's figuring it out, though. He's always been sharp."

Sharp was an understatement. Really, that kid was Seto's brother, through and through. Other than maybe Rebecca Hawkins, there was nobody he'd ever met who could think as quickly as Seto Kaiba, or operate on his level, regardless of his age.

Standing near either of the brothers when they were in their element was like watching forces of nature: Mokuba was like watching a thunderstorm, but Kaiba was like watching the sun rise and warm the world.

A star, really and truly.

"You have no idea," Seto says, and it's not insulting so much as it expresses a grave pity for Yuugi. Seto was the provider, the one who made incredible sacrifice to give to his brother what he could never have. He cared for Mokuba...but lacked the emotional acuity and self-preservation to be the best brother that he could be.

That, and years prior, losing sight of his goals and becoming the monster he'd fought to protect Mokuba from.

Mokuba, on the other hand...sure, he could be a little shit often enough, but he had remained mostly unspoiled by their home life. That was by design. And...well, he was the more emotionally attuned of the two Kaiba brothers.

He was the one who could see through others, right to the truth of their natures, in a way Seto never could.

Maybe Mokuba would be able to understand why it was that Yuugi considered Seto to be a better confidante for pain, because Seto himself isn't sure whether to take offense or not.

"So it's something to be hidden, something to be ashamed of?" Kaiba asks plainly, looking Yuugi in the eye as he asks.

Is it shameful to feel pain, Yuugi? Is this the shame I'm relegated to for the rest of my life?

Yuugi tilted his head in confusion.

Shame? Is that...what it seemed like? Did not talking about it make him seem like he was...?

"It's not about shame." he insisted. "There's nothing shameful about being in pain. I just..."

When did this turn around and focus on Yuugi's feelings? It was easier to talk about others and their needs; his needs were difficult. That required asserting himself and putting his comfort above another person's, and that...

That was something he still struggled with.

But Kaiba was looking him in the eye.

And it would be disgraceful to do anything but meet his gaze and answer honestly.

"I'd rather take care of them than have them worry about me."

Having others worry about him felt wrong, almost. Worrying about those he loved was like breathing, but taking care of himself? He was fine, he was okay. Let him look after you and your needs, he was fine, he was fine--

"No.

You would rather not tell them so that they don't pity you."

Kaiba holds Yuugi's gaze, long enough for his brows to soften, hard as they were to see over his shaggy, unkempt bangs. He's been in the hospital so long that his hair's grown out, making his emotions further incalculable due to the way his bangs fall. Yuugi might have noticed, or maybe not, but the edges of Kaiba's hair, when un-styled, curled like Mokuba's.

Overall, it gave him an oddly disarming look. Thin. Sickly. The only lack of sharp edges on him was that hair, wasn't it?

And his eyes. His eyes were softer, if Yuugi noticed at all.

"But then, all you're doing is keeping a secret that you wouldn't want them to keep from you. I thought you guys were all about that unity crap.

Rules for thee, but not for me."

He did, and he wasn't sure what to think of it.

While Kaiba's eyes softened in one way, Yuugi's softened in another: it was the look of a man whose wall was well and truly penetrated, defensive edges coming down around him.

Especially when Kaiba's words cut that deep. On one hand, it wasn't that he thought they would pity him, not exac--

No, it was pity, wasn't it?

In the end, he didn't want them to see him as a child. That was what everyone saw him as, after all; short and small and weaker than others. It took beating Atem in the ceremonial duel to get that look to disappear from their eyes...

"...Can't it be both?" He asked softly.

"I don't like it when attention's drawn to myself. But...you're right. I don't want them to see me as helpless, either."

"Your friends don't seem the type to think so lowly of you. They've always been there to support you."

Admittedly, Kaiba wasn't there for all of Yuugi's life, because he had his own, highly complicated life to deal with. But with all of the grandstanding about friendship, he was struggling to understand the problem here.

"You have no reason to be afraid of looking weak anyway, Yuugi. Nothing rides on it, and even if it did, you're the King of Games. You don't need to work to succeed, you're already there."

...Is there a shade of passive aggression in his tone? Well, he is who he is, and while he's not jealous of Yuugi, he finds the very idea that Yuugi would worry about being seen as "helpless" rather irritating.

Not for any particular reason, of course.

Not at all.

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