kittensinboxes | I Ended Up Losing And It's All His Fault

I Ended Up Losing And It's All His Fault

Kaiba had gone to the afterlife. He'd finally achieved his dream, and in doing so, faced his eternal rival in combat.

It was never meant to be permanent, of course, but he hadn't neglected to consider the possibility that he might struggle to come back intact. Before launching across dimensions, Kaiba had set his affairs in order, although only Isono was privy to what that meant.

If he was gone for more than a month, his shares would be converted into Mokuba's name, thereby protecting the interests of Kaiba Corporation. At this point, Mokuba would be appointed interim Chief Executive Officer of KaibaCorp.

If he was gone for two, then Mokuba would formally inherit the business in its entirety, with Isono overseeing most functions from day to day with stricter clauses added to his work contract that would disallow him the chance or ability to destabilize Mokuba from his position, which would still be interim CEO for all public records.

From that point on, the changes were only reversible on paper if Seto returned within a year from the launch date. If not, Mokuba really would inherit the business as the true CEO. He'd meant it when he said he was leaving it all in his brother's hands. What else could you say when you intended to launch yourself at speed from your own space station, with no full guarantee that you wouldn't impact, rather than travel across dimensions?

It wasn't a smart idea from the start to do that, and although Kaiba had achieved his goal metaphysically, the reality was that he had, in fact, launched himself from a space station down to earth. The impact was real, and while the safety features of the pod offset a great deal of the damage, he didn't escape unscathed.

The wreckage was found half a day later, bored sixty feet into the ground. Kaiba had been pulled from it and immediately hospitalized for his injuries which ranged from mild bruising to broken bones, specifically his legs and one arm. His resting heart rate had settled at 130, which was...less than ideal, and needed to be treated.

For the next 3 months, he remained in the hospital in a private room paid for by Mokuba, away from prying eyes and off the general record so that he could heal from his injuries and reawaken healthy but still remain incognito. The former worked out, but waking up...well, Kaiba simply wouldn't. His brain activity was elevated, and his heart rate often spiked, but Mokuba, at least, knew what that meant. He'd pulled his brother from their Neural Network inches before a severe cardiac episode before.

If his vitals were behaving that way, then he got what he wanted--he got that final contact with Atem that he'd been denied due to fulfilling his own dream of spreading Kaiba Land all across the world.

What happened was anyone's guess.

But after three and a half months, Seto Kaiba finally opened his eyes, and the light made his head ache. His heart rate was finally at a level that didn't indicate atrial fibrillation, and although he was pale, thin, and exhausted, he'd finally made it back where he belonged.

He was back home--no. He was...back in a hospital. Why a hospital? Why wasn't he home? Surely, he couldn't have been gone for more than a week or so, right? The dimensional connection had been flimsy at best, and he'd had to spend his time with Atem as quickly as possible.

So why were his limbs heavy? They felt wrong. So much felt wrong, and his eyes wouldn't open all the way, but he can make out a blurry image if he just...forces them to move. Someone...?

"Mo...ku...ba?"

Ugh. No, even his voice sounds awful. The muscles of his throat feel stiff, his voice is hoarse from disuse, and he'd barely managed to say his brother's name, to see if it really was him, or...maybe someone else.

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"No. What reason would you have to do that? We were never friends," Kaiba said pointedly. Where's the lie? They weren't.

But if Yuugi wants to spill, it's not as if Kaiba has anywhere else to go, and he doesn't want to be left alone, so rather than be a complete asshole about it, he offers his ear to whatever Yuugi has to say.

For now.

He shifts uncomfortably for a moment, before crossing his arms. Well?

"I was...timid. Quiet." He chuckled. "Well, quieter. I was bullied all the time and got beat up a lot."

Even Jonouchi, as much as his younger self would never have admitted that. He had a good heart at the end of the day, but...his softer bullying was still bullying.

"The only friend I had was Anzu, and I wouldn't really call her much of a close friend at the time. We knew each other, but we were more like...you know. She was more like a worried big sister."

Yuugi shook his head.

"She used to have to chase bullies away because I could never bring myself to fight back. Even when we were little. I wanted to, but I never had the confidence to do it. I was pretty weak back then.

"And even after solving it...everyone always went out of their way to protect me. Like I was...delicate, I guess. Soft. Like I would break if you handled me a little too roughly."

When Yuugi mentions being bullied and beat up, Kaiba's mind distinctly recalls his hand in that. He remembers the feel of the impact his briefcase made, when he'd clocked Yuugi across the face with it.

He remembers...something ugly, uglier than who he is now, which is impressive.

It feels like a restitched part of his heart has been prodded with something barbed. Why does that memory feel so painful? Kaiba hadn't regretted his actions back then! But after what Atem had done, the situation that had left him comatose...some things had felt different.

Kaiba felt a prickle of guilt.

"Hn," he hums quietly to himself. Then, "I can see your issue. But the truth is, if you could house the soul of another person, who are they to judge whether you needed protecting? The Puzzle chose you. That should have been enough for them."

It wasn't for you, his mind supplies sneeringly. But that wasn't important, because at the time, Kaiba wasn't a friend, or even a potential ally. He was an adversary.

Kaiba's words stole the breath from his lungs as their meaning truly sank in.

Him being able to hold Atem's soul and being chosen by the puzzle...it was an admittance of his strength. Seto Kaiba, the man on top of the world, thought that he was strong in the ways that counted.

Knowing that he felt that way and hearing it were two different things, and it was...

A heady tonic.

A heady tonic that left his cheeks feeling rather wet.

He brushed them with the back of his hands.

"You know...I don't think I've heard anyone word it quite like that since...The Other Bakura, maybe. Maybe Isis...? But I never quite know what she's thinking."

"What does that say about your so-called friends, that your enemies and a supposed mind-reader are the only ones that see your potential?"

Kaiba actually rolls his eyes, letting his arms drop to his sides again. He turns his gaze from Yuugi, because the tears in his eyes feel like something that he shouldn't be seeing.

"I don't see why you're crying about it," he adds in a mutter. "Ridiculous."

Yuugi was more fortunate than he knew. Not for being bullied, but for being protected. Kaiba still thinks those friends of his were vastly underestimating the person they were supposedly friends with, but evidently, they couldn't tell the difference between Yuugi and his counterpart.

By Battle City...Kaiba struggled to deny it. There were two fighting spirits inside Yuugi, two entirely different people that made his heart hammer the drums of war. Not that he hadn't been guilty of underestimating Yuugi compared to the pharaoh of course. But...seeing how he brought a possessed Jounouchi to his knees--no, he'd brought Marik to heel, using his bond with Jounouchi--Kaiba had no way to deny the man's strength.

There he was. As worthy a rival as Atem could be.

There's a faint beep as the machinery reads Kaiba's elevated pulse, his swiftly beating heart.

"Tch."

He wants to tear the wires off of his body, to be able to hold his own thoughts and feelings inside, without leaving them for someone to ponder to themselves.

Silence.

For a good minute, Yuugi sat silent, clutching his hands together as though they were the only things keeping him steady. Maybe they were, as his stomach twisted and he bit his lips in an old, thought-discarded habit.

Not because Kaiba was wrong...

But because he was right.

"They...saw what they wanted to see." He spoke slowly, carefully. "And in a way...what I wanted them to see."

Tighter. He clutched his hands tighter.

"I kept everything inside. I protected them just as much as they thought they were protecting me. And I was fine with that, really."

Until he wasn't.

"If the others didn't have to get beat up, or get dragged into danger, or have to get thrust into my problems...all the better, right?"

But even from the beginning, he knew that Jonouchi would fall to his knees to protect him. He knew Anzu threw her body into keeping him safe. His grandpa took precious money that he needed to keep the store running in order to keep Yuugi safe.

It was humbling, but frustrating.

"It's strange; I can't tell this to my other friends, but I can talk to you so easily. Maybe it's because you see me for me. You could tell the difference, even when the others couldn't."

He paused.

"And you're...precious to me. I feel a bond with you that's different from the others."

--

Mokuba Kaiba leaned against the door, ear pressed hard as he heard Yuugi say words that he'd known for weeks.

"...Maybe that's what it means to truly have a rival that can challenge you. You can approach them on equal terms and have an understanding that you can't with anyone else."

....

That.

That idiot. That actual, literal, screaming idiot.

Was he as dense as his brother?!

No. Denser. So much denser.

Kaiba's pulse probably should have gone down just from the absolute distaste he normally felt every single time that friendship ended up on the table. But it doesn't, because here Yuugi is, assuming that they're friends again, and somehow...Kaiba finds himself thinking he can't be the worst one that Yuugi's ever had.

At least he got where Yuugi was coming from. But then...since when had it been so hard for him, like this? Had Yuugi been hiding parts of himself away all this time? Just because...?

Because they only wanted to protect him. And they thought they were doing it, too.

That's what's got his blood pressure up now. To be seen as something else than what you are, to change yourself in order to get by, and assist the others around you?

(he's standing at a door, hand in hand with his brother, and there's another hand. rough, unforgiving, clenched around his so hard it hurts

he's solving equations, complex problems far out of the scope of his age, he's exhausted, his hands are bleeding

he tries to wrap the cuts himself, to hide them. hide away hide the blood hide the pain because there's his brother, smiling smiling always smiling)

"Don't do that. Don't ever be anything but who you are," Kaiba hisses between gritted teeth. "You have no idea how fortunate you are, to be able to live a life that's truthful. Don't sully it with lies any longer, do you understand me?!"

He rolls onto his side, not caring how it hurts, not giving a damn that the fixators jolt and cause his legs to ache because it doesn't matter!! He has to get right in Yuugi's face when he says it, to drive the point home.

"TELL ME NOW, THAT YOU'LL BE YOURSELF, YUUGI! I WON'T ALLOW ANYTHING ELSE!!"

Edited 2025-01-11 07:17 (UTC)

Sully his life with lies.

Was that how Kaiba really saw things...? He saw Yuugi's hiding the pain and keeping everyone safe as lying. Dishonesty. It was like hiding another part of him under a mask, maybe, smiling to keep everyone else happy.

No, he didn't want to talk about himself. He just wanted to know where it hurt.

It hurt. It hurt--

Every word, every pained grimace, the grit of teeth -- each one stabbed at Yuugi's chest with a freezing pick and left chills and heat in their wake. He didn't know whether to curl up, double over, cry, or--

--No, there was only one option. Only one. Only one.

"I promise!" He said, "I'll be honest. I won't...hide myself anymore."

His hands reached out, gripped Kaiba's shoulders. He had to touch him, roll him over, make sure he was okay, calm him down, do something, something...!!

And yet, his eyes were so steady. His voice only hinting at the concern that threatened to spill out like water.

"...So long as you're honest with me, too. I only want to see your true, unhindered self."

His voice didn't waver.

It was so gentle.

It hurt, it hurt, it hurt--

"I won't...allow anything else."

--

Seto...

Mokuba knew he hid so much. Put so much on his shoulders. And yet...

He wanted to run in, but he knew that if he did, Seto would clam up again. He always had to be the dependable big brother, show that things were fine, even if he knew they weren't.

He had to wait.

Just a little longer...

Oh, how Kaiba wants to rail against him, to tell Yuugi to keep his lying hands off of him, but why, why is he so angry?! What had Yuugi done to make him so angry, so envious?

"Shut up! It's not about me! It's about YOU! YOU CAN LIVE A LIFE, IDIOT! You could have lived a life this whole time, and had friends!"

He lets Yuugi push him back, to fix his positioning so that his legs aren't searing, so the angle of his movements no longer cause the fixator screws to twist in his skin. But he still bites back, all snapping teeth and growling and posturing like the downed beast he is.

"You can't...make me do anything! Nothing you do will change the trajectory of my life!! You can't stop...the inertia of my existence just because you think you can make a deal about it!

So just stop! For once, don't tie yourself...to someone else because you have to make them feel better!"

Kaiba winces, his eyes squinting shut. It's not just because he's glowering at Yuugi, he's struggling again, the same elevated emotions putting him at a disadvantage mentally.

It hurts.

He wants it to stop hurting, he wants his chest to stop aching, his head to stop throbbing--

--and so he hits the button, to take the pain from him, to free him from the burden for just a moment. But before it fully hits, Kaiba butts his forehead with Yuugi's, glaring into those infuriating violet eyes. Before the unsteadiness takes his mind to a faraway place, he wonders spitefully at how much he'd love a Yuugi that fought against him like they fought while dueling, a Yuugi that asserts himself. Not a Yuugi that has to bargain just to put off his pain.

"You...fool..."

The envy in Kaiba's voice was little more than a blade.

Bit by bit it cut at the walls he built around himself that he used to protect his friends, chopping down bricks and slicing cement so deep that it could barely hold.

Chip.

Chip.

Piece by piece, bit by bit...

Kaiba...I always knew you were lonely. In a lot of ways...we're similar, aren't we?

"No, you're the idiot."

Yuugi said, low and soft.

(Fond.)

"Nothing can stay still forever, just like Absolute Zero can't exist outside controlled conditions.

"This isn't about making you feel better. It's about being your rival."

Your friend.

Your...

"What kind of rival would I be, if I didn't meet you head-on and be my most authentic self? And what kind of rival would you be if you didn't meet me head-on as your true, most honest self?"

Rivals.

Yeah.

Rivals had to be equals in every way, didn't they? He felt this about Kaiba but not about anyone else, so that's what this had to be.

"So I challenge you to come at me. As yourself. To prove to me that you're an immovable object that can't be affected by momentum."

The momentum that Yuugi already brought into his life.

"Fuck. You."

The audacity of Yuugi, to use their rivalry against him--

--it's what he wanted. To be pushed against. To feel as if he's in an ebb and flow, and to have his anger answered to! Kaiba's head is already starting to swim, but he's not entirely gone yet. He's there, enough to hiss out his words, then, with some level of spite, but a higher level of answering enthusiasm, he finds himself compelled to crush their lips together.

Inelegant. Forceful.

New.

Exciting.

A challenge was laid in that kiss, though it won't last in his favor. He's already cooling off, vision blurring, within seconds of making contact.

Those seconds were answered with an inferno.

Small hands gripped his face, his cheeks, pushing plush lips to Kaiba's as a challenge answered. A clumsy, inexperienced mouth moved against his with a sharp intake of breath as Yuugi kissed him...

Kissed.

They were kissing.

Yuugi kissed as a riposte, a promise, a challenge, a proposal, a dedication to feelings unsaid but unneeded.

I care about you.

I like you.

My friend.

My Rival.

The one I want standing in front of me on the other end of the arena.

The one I want to walk beside me.

Everything, everything was poured into just those moments, that connection of lips on lips.

"Mmmm..."

Kaiba's eyes roll shut slowly, and with what strength he has left, he laces his fingers in Yuugi's hair, touches it again, because it feels nice and comforting. He pulls Yuugi with him onto the bed, selfishly, until the man's atop him, but he doesn't care.

"Don't...stop."

It's not an order. It's an airy, far off request muttered against Yuugi's warm, comforting lips.

"Never."

Yuugi adjusted himself and his weight so that none of it would be on Kaiba's legs. He straddled him, practically on hands and knees, and yet kissed him like it brought air into his lungs.

"I don't..." he murmured, "...ever want to stop."

This...

He'd thought of this, sometimes. Selfishly, when he was sitting in his room or at Kaiba's bedside. They were idle thoughts tossed aside as intrusive or strange despite how they made his cheeks burn.

He never realized just how right it was.

His fingers threaded in Seto's hair, gently massaging his scalp with a lover's touch.

--

Mokuba Kaiba opened the door just a crack, silently, just enough to see the two men on the bed before shutting it in turn.

Time to hold up the nurses to give these two a little privacy.

He could always say he got held up. It wouldn't technically be a lie, after all...

Kaiba's certain he's fallen backwards into forever, and that he was dragging Yuugi with him. His heartbeat was slowly leveling out, and his returned enthusiasm for the kiss was bleeding away as the painkiller sets in.

"Good," he adds softly. There's a tinge of fondness in his voice, even as his fingers fall away from Yuugi's hair. The fingers threading in his own unkempt mop make his arms prickle and break out in goosebumps. It feels good. He's never let himself feel this.

No one's hands have ever touched him like this, and he's practically swimming in the sensation as he fights his own urge to slip into unconsciousness.

"Mmm..."

He'd never sounded like this before. Even with his own natural ease and gentleness, the dreamy tone was new.

The intimacy was new.

(Exciting.)

He rumbled from his chest between indulgent kisses, fingers still moving.

Still caressing.

"I'll be here when you wake up," He whispered, "And we can do this again. I promise."

"So tired," Kaiba grumbles quietly, "of sleeping."

But inevitably, he's the one that quits chasing Yuugi. His eyes slip shut, and his breathing evens out. He's still at the edge of sleep without quite giving in, floating in a sea of calm.

"So that's why...people like doing that...so much."

"Mmmm."

He can't help it: he leans forward and presses his lips -- so gently -- on his Rival (?)'s forehead.

"You're... the only one I've... done this with.

It's... nice."

"Yeah...yeah."

Yuugi's lips shouldn't feel so nice on his skin. They probably shouldn't feel so nice when pressed to his lips either, but here Kaiba was, enjoying the contact and wishing they were still doing the thing.

"Don't tell Mokuba," he whispers. "If...he's still outside."

(Brother pls he already saw you)

Yuugi pressed another lingering kiss to Seto's lips, foreheads touching.

This was... nice.

No, more than nice. Perfect. Everything he could have wanted, and yet he never thought that he'd know how those lips felt against his.

Thin, but sweet. Better than Burger World's hand-dipped strawberry milkshake.

"It's our secret," Yuugi promised. "I won't say a thing."

Not that he knew Mokuba saw them, but... you know.

"Mm...you taste nice."

Seto no.

"And I know you can keep a secret. You kept your hurt from your friends. From me."

Seto pls.

"If I'd have been there...y'wouldn't have been hurt."

Oh my god.

Seto...

Was it normal to feel this happy to hear Seto Kaiba talk like this? To hear that he...

Cared?

That he wanted to... what? Protect him? Keep him from being hurt?

Gods, Yuugi couldn't stop smiling.

"Are you saying you... would have protected me?"

Another kiss, nice and soft, on Seto's lips.

How is he supposed to focus, when Yuugi's kisses are so soft and gentle that he could probably have fallen asleep right then and there? Ughhh, Yuugi...

"Haven't I...protected you enough for you to know...?"

He's protected Yuugi. He's protected Yuugi's friends. The last time they'd been in battle side-by-side, he had given his existence up so Yuugi could win against Aigami. Had he not...then it would have been a permanent sacrifice.

"...Didn't that matter to you?"

He hadn't meant to say what he did...but it spilled out anyway.

"Of course it did. It always has."

Because Seto always has protected him, hasn't he? Always, always, always.

"Against Aigami, I... was so scared that I'd lose you for good. I was scared of losing everyone, but you... you hit me harder than anyone else. I didn't know why back then."

He did now. He was so stupid, how could he have missed it? How could he have missed all of this?

"I do now, though. And...I never did quite thank you properly for that, did I?"

He kissed him, deeper, slower than the others. It was clumsy, but a lover's kiss if ever there was one.

As He pulled away, he whispered:

"Consider that a fraction of my gratitude, Seto Kaiba."

"Why me?"

Kaiba opens his eyes sluggishly, wanting to focus enough to press for that answer. Why did Yuugi even think that about him? Hadn't it been more important to save the world? It was always more important to save the world, objectively.

Subjectively...Kaiba resented both him and Atem for their burdens.

But he won't be able to say anything about that. Not before Yuugi's lips press to his, and then...Kaiba's sinking into a sea of warmth again, his eyes half-lidding as he lets out a soft hum of approval. It's the best response he's got for a good long while, because when Yuugi pulls away, the only evidence of a reaction is the dusting of color across Kaiba's cheeks.

It's almost...innocent.

Then, too long afterwards, he finally speaks.

"...More of that."

It's not a demand so much as a request, but even if Yuugi tries to give him what he wants...Seto will struggle to reciprocate, before actually falling the fuck to sleep.

Sorry Yuugi. He is not used to being on morphine. This man is gone.

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