kittensinboxes | Hang My Head, Drown My Fear [Lab of Nature AU, Suffering Is Magic]

Hang My Head, Drown My Fear [Lab of Nature AU, Suffering Is Magic]

Kaiba remembers pain. He remembers...drowning.

And he remembers smiling as he maliciously made it all worse and watched the life spill from his throat, spewing out with arterial force before him and creating a mess of wasted life all around him.

Then, he remembers--more pain? How could there be more pain after death? He knows he's screaming, but nothing comes out. He struggles against his bonds, but he's too weak, too weak, and even opening his eyes shows little besides the searing white lights of an operating room, the flash of a face that resembles an ape...and then, nothing. He feels something cover his mouth, inhales reflexively...then passes out. It's a release, freeing him from the delirium of the restoration and the pain of the experimentation that occurs in between.

He won't remember it. Perhaps that's a mercy.

---

When Kaiba finally does wake, it's in a new room, with aching limbs, a soured stomach, and a throat that feels poorly patched up.

He's too weak to sit up, but his tired eyes scan his surroundings, seeking out any familiarity at all. He has to do it slowly, so that the tracking of his own eyes doesn't nauseate him more than he already is.

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Yuugi did not get up to stop him; it was easier to let him see than to continue a song and dance of denial and insistence before the truth was revealed.

Still, his body was taut, ready to run to him if anything was wrong--

Wait.

Wait, what if they--

Shit.

"Kaiba, wait! Don't touch the bars!"

Would he listen to the worry in his roommate's voice, though...?

Kaiba does not listen. He has no reason to listen, not when he knows his brother's out there, in need of help, and Seto is dutybound to help him!

So he does reach out to take hold of the bars, to shake them, tear at them, test them for weaknesses, anything at all!

...His hands don't burn. The bars aren't the object of punishment. Instead, there's a searing agony that spreads from his neck, down his spine. It seizes him like a vice, tightens his muscles so painfully he swears that he might never be free of the constrictive force.

Since the current is coming from within, rather than the bars, Kaiba is quick to collapse backwards, dazed and letting out hissing groans of pain that have no vocal inflection.

Maybe it would have behooved him to listen after all.

"Kaiba!!"

Yuugi ran before he thought any better of it. His feet slammed against the floor as he reached out, running--

"Nnngh?!"

Pain.

Pain like fire seared his nerves and heated his blood. It was from inside, somewhere on the base of his neck, moving down, down--

Even Yuugi flinched, but he didn't stop from reaching out to take Kaiba by the shoulders.

To pull him away.

To comfort?

The only reason Yuugi gets away with it is that Kaiba's stunned from the shock that had run through his body, eyes half-closed as he struggles to come back to his senses. The hands tugging him back are the least of his worries.

All the same, in his daze, he finds his muscles slowly beginning to unwind under Yuugi's touch. He wouldn't call it comfort, of course. Nothing about this place is comforting.

Don't he mouths, but it's so hard to make out, it'd be a miracle if Yuugi did. His cellmate's body twitches as the pain slowly ebbs, leaving his extremities twitching erratically. Then...another word, one that looks painful to form:

Mokuba...

Gods.

This poor man...

Made to suffer like this, with a brother that loved him out there, away from here, waiting.

Fuck.

What was that feeling?

The pain on the base of his neck, it was almost like...

It couldn't be.

Right?

He'd been shocked before, but not. Not there.

"I'll get you to the bed. You shouldn't be moving around too much like this. It'll take a bit to stop bein' jumpy."

I can do it.

He mouths the words stubbornly, but his body's too shaky to really be of use, and so...if Yuugi does assist him, he won't make a massive fuss. It's written on his face how much he hates it every step of the way, but when they do make it to the bed and he can finally sling himself across the pitiful, uncomfortable thing...all he does is look up at the ceiling, with eyes full of spite and anger.

I won't stand by any longer. They can't stop me.

They're trying their hardest to, though. After all, I'm your roommate.

The one who almost got out. The one they couldn't break.

The one who helped someone escape.

Gods, he must have done something to really piss them off, huh? What did Kaiba do to make them so angry with him?

He seemed like a really proud person, so...

Yuugi looked him over, before sitting on the floor, moving his face close, back facing the door.

"Sorry..." he mumbled.

I don't think they can understand us if I sit over you like this. Cameras're in the ceiling, not the floor.

I'm not afraid of them.

Kaiba says it, before painstakingly rolling onto his side. His neck aches, and his limbs are still tremoring from the shock that had worked its way down his spine. He isn't scared of them. He isn't scared of anyone here, not any of the Enforcers, not the ones who threatened over the network...and certainly not the scientists.

But...he rolls onto his side for a different reason.

To plan.

They can't be so open with their plotting, lest they be found out. That's the only reason he tolerates Yuugi's proximity like this. He opens his mouth, hoping to cajole Yuugi into making a scheme with him, the faster the better...but instead of anything constructive...the phrase that forms is entirely different.

Tell me about him.

For a moment, Yuugi blinked.

He

He hadn't expected those words to form on Kaiba's lips; he seemed like a single-minded sort, a go-getter that was focused on his goal...

But a go-getter could be a devoted brother, too.

Yuugi smiled.

Feisty. And... protective in his own way. Mokuba let one of the newer guys have it when he tried shoving me.

The new ones always did. The bigger guys hit Yuugi and used him as a punching bag to let out their frustration, because they couldn't do anything else.

Mokuba, though...

He yelled 'how dare you try to touch him? That's Yuugi Mutou!' I had to stop him from getting beat up! He told me that the only one allowed to beat me in anything was you.

Kaiba's eyes half-lid as he makes out the shape of Yuugi's words, and he's...not sure how he feels about it. He knows that Mokuba is like that, but it feels like the memories are scattered, viewed through a blurred lens he hasn't quite managed to wipe clean.

It makes him happy, and proud, to know that his brother did not sit idly by and allow himself to be bullied. More still, his brother didn't allow Yuugi to be bullied either, for the kind of reason that Kaiba could feel flattered by.

But...

...it also hurts, deep down, because when had the tables turned? When had Mokuba needed to take care of others, rather than be taken care of?

(when you put him in a box and scared him very nearly to death

when you let him play poison roulette with your enemy

when you bet against him because you had no faith)

Something completely wrong and out of place happens then. Seto Kaiba sucks in a breath that aches, and then...something warm and unbidden tracks down his face. A small, single, pitiful badge of utter weakness.

Condensed guilt.

Loneliness of his own making, and really, what right did he have to shed it?

But he can't take it back.

Why had it happened in the first place? He hadn't shed a tear for so many years he had thought himself incapable. Even when pain overcame him, and it was unbearable, and he was seconds from death...he never did.

He can't look Yuugi in the eye. He won't. He doesn't mouth a single word, nor will he see any that his rival tries to form. His pride won't allow it.

A...

Tear.

Why was he crying? What did...? What did Yuugi do? Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt him, somehow--

Or maybe he just really missed his brother.

He was averting his eyes; he clearly wasn't used to crying.

This person...

He wished he knew more about him. He wished he knew more and could do more and could--

He didn't want him to suffer any more than he already had.

He'd clearly suffered enough.

Yuugi said nothing; simply let him have his silence.

For this, too, was its own kind of protection.

It takes what feels like an eternity, before Kaiba decides to speak--or at least communicate.

Yuugi.

What would you do?

He can't trust himself yet. He's been compromised, clearly, and it's better to have a more objective mind on the case than his own. He hates to think it, to allow Yuugi to dictate the rules of their engagement here. But he does it anyway.

Wait for them to let their guard down. In any game... you have to analyze your opponent and look for weaknesses to throw them off.

Thinking of it like a game... made it easier.

Simpler.

They're on high alert, but they'll eventually get lazy. They always do. Once they get bored they'll focus on other experiments.

That gives us time to analyze. To learn.

To figure out an escape plan.

You're as annoyingly naive as I remember.

It isn't really a compliment. Kaiba does want to save his brother, but the very idea that they could do so just by being vigilant, when the room clearly has no weaknesses and there's something embedded in their bodies to discourage escape attempts?

Unless their captors somehow trip and drop the keys through the bars...there's not much chance of them getting out of here in a timely manner.

You really think they'll get bored, when they've given us personal room and board in a high-security area?

No.

They're up to something.

Annoyingly naive, huh...?

He shouldn't have felt comforted by that, but something curled into itself, with a familiar...something.

Maybe that was it, though. Maybe it was because despite how much about him changed, he was still the same Yuugi. He couldn't have changed that much if he remembered that about him, right...?

The question is what...

He smiled.

But no matter what they throw at us, we'll make it through. I know we will.

He'd make sure of it.

Of course I know that I will.

Kaiba's weak now, he knows this. He's lost too many times, but instead of giving up, it only makes him less inclined to stay...well, of sound mind. He's been slipping ever since he'd come back from the elevator incident, and had already shown his hand when he'd slit his own throat.

If you're determined to defeat them, then I guess we're on the same side.

He doesn't put much stock in teamwork...but Yuugi is a better teammate than most.

Yuugi's smile brightened, and for a moment, the same innocent boy that Kaiba met was back, open and pure and excited at the prospect at working together.

...

But then, it sharpened.

Then let's crush them...[Partner].

Kaiba frowns at the use of that word. Partner...? They're not...partners. But something about seeing Yuugi's face light up quells Kaiba's urge to tear him down.

It feels like home, somehow. It makes his soul yearn for his life back, to be back in Japan and struggling with what he knew, rather than what he did not. And Yuugi will be able to see that in his eyes as they half-lid, very nearly shutting completely in a pensive expression.

I look forward to it.

He mouths the words, and there's a quirk at the corner of his lips. A smile? Or perhaps just the ghost of one.

This place took so much from this man.

For many times tonight, he wondered just who this person really was, beyond his explanations and his mania and pride thick enough to cut with a blade.

There was something in his eyes...

Me too. Yuugi mouthed.

The thought of saving everyone and bringing this place down was one of the things that kept him going: a flame burning in his stomach that could melt steel, with pressure that built diamonds of determination that settled inside him more with each passing day.

He wouldn't break.

He refused.

It's funny...Yuugi still has such confidence, whereas Kaiba himself has frayed at the edges, faced with the reality of his inadequacies so frequently that his only course of action to rise against it is to continue being who he is, antagonizing because he can, and bearing the weight of those choices as they drag him down to Hell.

He's been told, many times, that he shouldn't say certain things.

Just as many times, he's spat in the face of kindness because his pride would allow little else.

He envies Yuugi, for his resilience. Kaiba has resilience too, but ever since back then...everything in his life has felt as if he was barely on stable footing, shunted into an angle that very nearly trips him with every step.

He wants to sleep. He's so tired. Sleep.

...Wait, what?

Kaiba tries to push himself up on one arm, but finds that he can't raise himself up further than a few inches. He's too heavy. He's too tired, suddenly. Why?

There's an odd, sweet scent in the air. He can't identify it--it's probably something not of their world, since he knows that the facility is run by alien creatures of a sort--but it must be related to his sudden exhaustion.

Yuugi, don't b...breathe.

Stupid advice. Foolish. But it's as much warning as he'll get from Kaiba.

The scientists must be pushing chemicals through the vents. The next time Kaiba tries to mouth anything, it's unreadable.

What was that smell...?

Instinctively, Yuugi covered his mouth with his hands, but there wasn't much he could do about it once that scent played with his senses and fogged his mind.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, what were they doing?! It was some kind of substance, some kind of...

Thing that caused drowsiness. He didn't have the words to describe it for what it was: a high-grade sleep inducer and muscle relaxant. If only he'd actually studied in school instead of played so many games, maybe he'd have the words he needed for what was happening to him.

"Kai...ba..." Yuugi mumbled, slumping onto his knees on the floor.

He knew he had to breathe. If he made himself pass out, it'd have the same effect anyway...

All he could do was reach out one of his hands, grabbing Kaiba's tight, so as not to be easily pried from him once they got to...wherever they were going.

Because they would be going somewhere else.

They always did if they wanted them to fall asleep.

Yuugi was quickly fading, though...

By the time that Yuugi takes hold of his hand, Kaiba's already surrendered to the pitch black of unconsciousness. In fairness, he was already weakened by his revival.

The next time he awakens, it's in a chair, with the weight of something hard and scratchy secured around his neck. It takes him a moment to come to his senses and stop his own head from lolling tiredly against one shoulder. Longer still for his vision to clear.

When it does, he immediately flinches at the sight.

A gallows before him, with Yuugi secured in place with a noose of his own, as well as a loop around his shoulders, keeping him in place and not liable to fall until he came around. Then, when he does, the rope falls away, leaving him supported on his feet with the rope threateningly snug around his throat.

Just like Kaiba's, although his fed to the ground, and there was an array of buttons laid out before him, just within reach to be tapped by one foot. 26 buttons. Each marked with a letter.

This is a game Kaiba has played before.

This is a game he didn't want to play again.

But the scientists didn't care, did they? They wanted to see these two play together, didn't they?

When Yuugi wakes up, there'll be a display visible to both of them showing the rules, cheerily set forth by Helios. And then...it's up to them.

Yuugi opened his eyes, expecting pain.

That was always what happened when he woke up: it was either him tied to a gurney and filleted like a fish at the market, or beaten by one of the newbies who needed an outlet for their frustration.

Pain, day in and day out.

Numb, numb, numb--

But this was different. This wasn't the simple shock of physical pain. The noose around his throat was barely a tickle compared to the scientists' usual mercies, but the instructions...this was new.

Hangman. They want us to play hangman. With each other.

Another game, cruelly twisted by these horrible, horrible people.

How dare they.

How dare they take something so innocent as a childhood game and make it into something so horrible! How dare they take them and play with their lives like this?!

Yuugi took a deep breath...and closed his eyes.

He looked for all the world like he was fast asleep, but really he was trying not to think. Trying to, for a moment, clear his mind to his situation, his potential fate, his--

Edited 2025-03-30 05:54 (UTC)

Kaiba knows he has to be careful here. The noose will tighten the more he guesses wrong. But...this is a game. He's always been good at legitimate games, and the last time he did this...it had been a legitimate game.

He hadn't killed anyone.

That had to count for something, right?

So, he nudges the "T" with one foot, to see if that was one of the letters. His gaze flicks up to Yuugi, and if he's wrong...there's a look of frustration on his face. If he's right though, there's something odd in the way he glances at the other teen.

Like...he's apologizing, somehow. He'd never do it aloud, but his eyes betray him.

Six letters.

"T" is the last one, with "O" as the second, as given by the blessed mercies of the AI.

_ O _ _ _ T

So far, so good...look at Yuugi's face, Kaiba. Look at that reassuring little smile, encouraging and gentle as he has literal death wrapped around his neck.

Trust.

He trusts him to carry him through.

Because what else can he do? And with that apology in his eyes, Yuugi knows that he can trust him. That he's a man that would do what he could to keep him alive.

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